I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize