Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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