big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
