Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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