Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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