singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
