Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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