he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize