Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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