tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
