i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
