do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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