tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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