Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
