you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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