maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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