I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
