Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF http://tfl.nu/bxu6
  Replies (12) Good night (2324) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i wish there were pregnant emoticons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): i wish there were pregnant emoticons http://tfl.nu/icoh
  Replies (11) Good night (756) Bad night (3143)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Four minutes until I can fart!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Four minutes until I can fart! http://tfl.nu/u0vh
  Replies (11) Good night (1214) Bad night (3397)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party" http://tfl.nu/cx8m
  Replies (7) Good night (2670) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?

  (817): View more from Texas

  Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole? (817): Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that. http://tfl.nu/wqpn
  Replies (1) Good night (1913) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably take note of that and make it happen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards. (267): You should probably take note of that and make it happen. http://tfl.nu/k5f3
  Replies (22) Good night (2778) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes. http://tfl.nu/5iyn
  Replies (5) Good night (1742) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye. http://tfl.nu/9vv3
  Replies (5) Good night (1668) Bad night (2037)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES? http://tfl.nu/syph
  Replies (18) Good night (2228) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad http://tfl.nu/ulr7
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33. (1-617): you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight http://tfl.nu/rpjk
  Replies (5) Good night (2134) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home" http://tfl.nu/xfn6
  Replies (8) Good night (1463) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (61): Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive. http://tfl.nu/0qk3
  Replies (5) Good night (510) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Seriously, fuck work.

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Seriously, fuck work. (1-910): uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car http://tfl.nu/awlj
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way... http://tfl.nu/ehz3
  Replies (11) Good night (824) Bad night (444)

Randomize