Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.

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  (248): i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles. http://tfl.nu/v155
  Replies (2) Good night (575) Bad night (1032)
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  (408): View more from California

  she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again

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  (408): she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again http://tfl.nu/k557
  Replies (41) Good night (595) Bad night (5769)
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  (818): View more from California

  dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks

  (626): View more from California

  well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person

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  (818): dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks (626): well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person http://tfl.nu/xqyj
  Replies (13) Good night (6751) Bad night (1101)
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  (310): View more from California

  He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.

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  (310): He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance. http://tfl.nu/gr0i
  Replies (25) Good night (9247) Bad night (786)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.

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  (917): Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/g66e
  Replies (9) Good night (4543) Bad night (898)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid

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  (708): She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid http://tfl.nu/fpm2
  Replies (26) Good night (8411) Bad night (882)
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  (516): View more from New York

  doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

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  (516): doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine http://tfl.nu/5fcf
  Replies (32) Good night (2457) Bad night (7187)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal

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  (240): today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal http://tfl.nu/c4vg
  Replies (21) Good night (8084) Bad night (1066)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7554) Bad night (899)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.

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  (505): Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming. http://tfl.nu/efp8
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (2541)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected

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  (443): I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected http://tfl.nu/8335
  Replies (3) Good night (1489) Bad night (767)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much

  (352): View more from Florida

  Like they're going to fly away?

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  (407): I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much (352): Like they're going to fly away? http://tfl.nu/z6w4
  Replies (10) Good night (4865) Bad night (813)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview

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  (850): No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview http://tfl.nu/suz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (468)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  You gays are geniuses

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  (931): I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now (1-931): You gays are geniuses http://tfl.nu/19l5
  Replies (6) Good night (1483) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.

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  (912): I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe. http://tfl.nu/1u5h
  Replies (12) Good night (2720) Bad night (436)

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