Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken

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  (508): you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken http://tfl.nu/rlnm
  Replies (28) Good night (698) Bad night (2823) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.

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  (727): i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR. http://tfl.nu/oyj0
  Replies (16) Good night (13511) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.

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  (252): This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero. http://tfl.nu/82jq
  Replies (16) Good night (7177) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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  (479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw
  Replies (35) Good night (1595) Bad night (4004) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom

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  (408): I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1a6p
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (2813) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation

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  (760): The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation http://tfl.nu/2mmn
  Replies (9) Good night (1748) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted

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  (808): he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted http://tfl.nu/o6gq
  Replies (7) Good night (849) Bad night (1670) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"

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  (908): We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!" http://tfl.nu/fs29
  Replies (11) Good night (3711) Bad night (940)
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  (310): View more from California

  Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?

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  (310): Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away? http://tfl.nu/o5qu
  Replies (10) Good night (821) Bad night (1915) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame

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  (618): thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame http://tfl.nu/q9yu
  Replies (5) Good night (1772) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

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  (717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25
  Replies (9) Good night (793) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

  (323): View more from California

  Gross

  (818): View more from California

  AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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  (818): So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth (323): Gross (818): AN ACTUAL PICKLE http://tfl.nu/hdiy
  Replies (7) Good night (1761) Bad night (448)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.

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  (484): OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/kkt0
  Replies (5) Good night (674) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (754): View more from Florida

  Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless

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  (754): Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless http://tfl.nu/pgaf
  Replies (13) Good night (1153) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge

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  (404): I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge http://tfl.nu/wfh9
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (204)

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