I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.