super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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