Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Have you finally orgasmed yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Have you finally orgasmed yet? http://tfl.nu/pxlw
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But what if I pay for the gas?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain. (720): Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic. (303): But what if I pay for the gas? http://tfl.nu/j2h0
  Replies (53) Good night (1099) Bad night (6930)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated" http://tfl.nu/zfhg
  Replies (29) Good night (1541) Bad night (8675)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): 20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!" http://tfl.nu/w8i5
  Replies (33) Good night (5783) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much. http://tfl.nu/q4wr
  Replies (22) Good night (4657) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl http://tfl.nu/i1d7
  Replies (15) Good night (881) Bad night (4989)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have? http://tfl.nu/04yo
  Replies (22) Good night (3160) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose http://tfl.nu/nvzm
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please. http://tfl.nu/1hgr
  Replies (2) Good night (698) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum. http://tfl.nu/gdla
  Replies (8) Good night (1503) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/jl72
  Replies (6) Good night (372) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs. http://tfl.nu/xnbx
  Replies (9) Good night (1356) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It turns out my teeth are bleeding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become. (+44): It turns out my teeth are bleeding. http://tfl.nu/m4n5
  Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (1844)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/evhw
  Replies (9) Good night (915) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers. http://tfl.nu/djxo
  Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (663)

Randomize