Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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  (281): I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent http://tfl.nu/311d
  Replies (37) Good night (3198) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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  (910): ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality. http://tfl.nu/m81e
  Replies (5) Good night (1508) Bad night (3518)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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  (609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w4ku
  Replies (17) Good night (690) Bad night (6667)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it

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  (443): you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it http://tfl.nu/4e12
  Replies (9) Good night (1135) Bad night (4146)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod

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  (720): she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod http://tfl.nu/2sd3
  Replies (6) Good night (5689) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.

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  (206): My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'. http://tfl.nu/39kt
  Replies (10) Good night (4944) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  this will be a night to untag.

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  (435): this will be a night to untag. http://tfl.nu/f6xw
  Replies (6) Good night (7807) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

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  (773): It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse. http://tfl.nu/a75v
  Replies (8) Good night (2787) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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  (302): just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach. http://tfl.nu/5cxr
  Replies (3) Good night (2758) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  She swung at the pinata with crutches

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  (440): She swung at the pinata with crutches http://tfl.nu/dkgf
  Replies (4) Good night (1786) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"

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  (606): It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?" http://tfl.nu/9bht
  Replies (7) Good night (2513) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?

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  (843): Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes? http://tfl.nu/3eu0
  Replies (8) Good night (514) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?

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  (208): Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/sft8
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.

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  (218): I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again. http://tfl.nu/g6kg
  Replies (2) Good night (309) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..

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  (562): You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire".. http://tfl.nu/0vru
  Replies (0) Good night (144) Bad night (474)

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