I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.