It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize