I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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