The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
