that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
