I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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