the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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