if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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