yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
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Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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