I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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