I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
