Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize