you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize