Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
