what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
