That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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