I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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