office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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