He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
