I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
