Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
