That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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