Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
