Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
