Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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