Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
