I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
