VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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