Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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