Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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