You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
