i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize