apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
