Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Holy shit dude........stairs
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize