i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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