I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
