My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
