R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
