Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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